Why Self-Worth Leads to Success

Self-Worth and Self-Care

Yesterday I treated myself to a foot massage. It was fabulous! The room was low lit with soothing music playing softly. I climbed up on the table and was instantly enveloped in warmth from the heated blanket beneath me. A few deep breaths later and I was completely relaxed; Jamie hadn’t even touched my feet yet. And then the massage began. Ahhhh. I hadn’t realized I could become even more relaxed than I was. It was heaven; pure heaven.

This was the first time in 11 years that I’d had a professional massage. Why did it take me so long to do it again? The previous (hot stone!) massage had been a gift from my sister as part of a spa weekend. I loved it. Why not treat myself at least once a year or so?

As I gave that some thought, I thought there might be several factors that contributed:

  • cost
  • time
  • self-worth

While a weekly massage probably wasn’t in the budget (or was it?), I realized that I easily spend the cost of a massage each month on things far less satisfying or necessary. So while I tried to use cost as an excuse, it really wasn’t true.

Lack of time was probably only a little bit more true than the cost excuse. Certainly if getting a massage was a priority, then I could find an hour or so in my schedule once a month to fit it in.

And now we come to the self-worth issue. Here’s where the buck stopped. Apparently I thought I was only worth a massage once every decade; scheduling that kind of treat for myself was only for a super special occasion. And in my mind, when I really took the time to analyze my feelings about this, I saw a connection between very powerful and successful people and those who got frequent (say, every month or so) massages. Certainly they had money and time, but most importantly they were worth it. My conclusion was that when I saw myself as powerful and successful, THEN I too would be worth getting monthly massages.

Well, that notion seems a bit ridiculous. Furthermore, what if the “reward” for getting more frequent massages (or any other “treat” of that nature) was BECOMING powerful and successful? What if I had things in the wrong order the whole time?

This notion did not seem as ridiculous, although it may to you. I know from changing my morning routine these last few months into a very focused first hour early in the morning, I’m able to get a lot more done throughout my day. The first part of that routine is meditating – entering a very relaxed state. I felt even more relaxed at my foot massage. What if each month I had that additional deep relaxation through massage? Could my productivity increase even more? More productivity means more is accomplished which means I’m helping people change their lives to be happier and more successful which, in turn, makes me happier and feel more successful.

I’m scheduling a hot stone massage for mid-August!

3 Steps to Learning to Love Yourself

Do you like the person you see in the mirror?
Do you like the person you see in the mirror?

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Not just the physical characteristics, but who you are.

How often do you truly look in the mirror? Sure, everyday you glance as you’re brushing your teeth, or combing your hair, or making sure your outfit is not lacking. But your focus is likely on that which your action is addressing: on your hair as you comb it or on your teeth as you brush them. Do you ever look the person in the mirror straight in the eye – and smile?

I didn’t until recently. And it wasn’t an easy habit to establish. At first it was rather quick – a fleeting smile performed on the sly. Brush teeth, apply makeup, comb hair, take in overall look, flash a smile, move on. What was I so afraid of? That I wouldn’t smile back? It’s a mirror; I’m guaranteed to return the smile. And yet, I was – I don’t know – embarrassed?  No one else was around, so was I embarrassed by the person looking back at me? Maybe I just needed to learn to not be so critical of me and to learn to love the person in the mirror.

Learn to Love Yourself

  1. Breathe. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, open your eyes.
  2. Smile. A genuine “Hey, nice to see you!” smile. React as if you’re seeing a best friend for the first time in years.
  3. Say something nice. “Hey beautiful!” or “Your smile is infectious” or “It’s a good day when I see your smiling face.” Anything along those lines.

This may take practice. It did for me. The goal is not to become an egomaniac who can’t stop looking in the mirror, but you are looking to reach a point where you acknowledge the person in the mirror as a worthy and wonderful person… you.

What Makes You Happy? 3 Things to Elevate Your Mood

What makes you happy? 3 Things that can put you in a happier mood todayWhat makes you happy?

They say you can’t buy happiness, but what can you do to make yourself happier? There are a myriad of small things that can contribute to our mood; often changing it from down in the dumps to downright jovial. Let’s explore a few of those things:

What makes you happy? Sandra Boyton's Philadelphia Chickens does it for me!
Sandra Boyton’s Philadelphia Chickens


Can you name 3 songs that always make you smile? I’m betting Pharrell’s “Happy” is one of them. (Weird Al’s recently released parody, “Tacky” is also smile-inducing.) For me, Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” is on the top of the list. Also on the list: Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony (bum-bum-bum-BUM) and almost any song from Philadelphia Chickens CD (my children liked this for about a month, but it still makes me laugh). At a loss? Search Pandora or other music service for “Happy” and listen to the songs that come up. You may discover a new tune that elevates your mood.


What movie makes you laugh out loud? Humor is quite subjective, so what is funny for one person may seem outlandishly idiotic to another. The important thing is to make note of a few movies that make YOU laugh, or at least smile a lot. For me: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, A Fish Called Wanda, and in the right frame of mind, <Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Special Edition). (Are you getting the sense that I came of age in the 1980’s?!)


Surely you have a memory that puts a smile on your face. I can recall many instances, especially when getting together with my sister, of laughing so hard we could barely breathe. I usually don’t remember what we were specifically laughing about, just that it sent us into such convulsions of laughter – and remembering that feeling of pure tear-inducing laughter brings a smile to my face.

Next time you feel your mood shifting into negative territory, invoke one of the 3 M’s (or all of them!). Plan now the specifics of the music and movies so you can have them ready when needed.

Comment below what your favorite happy movies and music are!

Disclaimer: First three music links are to YouTube videos of the songs. Philadelphia Chicken CD and movie links are Amazon affiliate links to DVD’s of the movies.